Letting Go
by my trancey inspiration
Summary: Letting go was a process; a process she had unknowingly set in motion. Aang contemplates his mastery of the Avatar State.


I'm so excited you guys! I finally got my technologically-deprived self a computer! This particular one-shot was actually written a few months ago and I've been itching to post it. This was inspired in part by arizony's story: Into the Fire. If you haven't read it, do so. It's a wonderful piece. I'd been kicking this idea around for a while, kind of questioning how it came to be, suddenly, that Aang had access to the Avatar State. Along comes arizony's story to give me a little further insight and thus, 'Letting Go' was born. So, I'd like to thank arizony and Master Ooguay from Kung Fu Panda (those of you who have seen the movie will see why he is mentioned) for the inspriation. Enjoy!

A/N: For those of you following 'A New Beginning': Chapter 9 is in the process of being typed and edited. Woot!

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the Last Airbender or any of the characters portrayed herein. This is a not-for-profit work of fanfiction.

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Letting Go

Letting go was a process; a process she had unknowingly set in motion.

Months after the war's official end had come to pass, Aang lied on his back with his arms folded behind his head, appreciating the starlight. He was lost in thought--contemplating. He'd stolen a few moments for some alone time, as the rest of the group lounged around the campfire.

They were on another journey through the Earth Kingdom helping to restore order in the most war-devastated towns. Their rebuilding efforts were coming along, and Aang was quite enjoying digging in and getting his hands dirty. They had met some wonderful people so far, and helping them to get their homes and towns back up and running was proving to be the most rewarding of tasks.

So many people had asked him how he had defeated Ozai, how he was able to strip someone of their ability to bend. He was much obliged to recant the tale over and over, learning to appreciate being appreciated. Yet, one question proved difficult to answer.

No one outside of Aang's family knew of his struggle to master the Avatar State. In fact, no one had ever heard that his seventh chakra had been blocked, cutting off his connection to the cosmic energy of the universe that made it possible for him to access the Avatar State at will. Only his closest friends were privy to that information, and it was one of them who had asked the question that left him grasping for an answer.

"Aang, how were you able to finally access the Avatar State?" Katara had asked. "I mean, I know you said you were blasted against a rock when Ozai was attacking you, but—it just seems there would have been more to it than that."

His expression had gone blank and he had been silent, not quite sure how to answer. Of course there had to be more to it.

"Yeah," Toph interjected. "Because if we had known it was going to be that easy, I would have chucked a boulder at you a long time ago."

The group had laughed together, and even as Aang chuckled, he had grown more perplexed. He hadn't questioned it until that point. He'd hit the rock…it had just happened; he had accepted it, and moved on.

The question burned now, just like the stars that held his thoughtful gaze. He went back over his lessons with the Guru. It seemed like the logical place to start. Pathik had broken down all of the chakras, the energies that drove them, and the 'emotional muck' that could block the ability of those energies to flow freely. He remembered that Pathik told him the final chakra was blocked by earthly attachment. Somewhere along the way that channel had been cleared, granting him access to the cosmic energy and ultimately the power to defeat Ozai; but how? The Guru told him he had to let go of earthly attachment in order to master the Avatar State. His only attachment was Katara. He tried to let her go in the Crystal Catacombs and it had abruptly backfired. Next thing he knew, he was once again waking up in her arms. After their journey through the Fire Nation, his feelings for her were firmly cemented. There was no letting go now. Besides, he had her affection in return, openly and unabated, while having no effect on his ability to access the Avatar State. Weird.

Perhaps letting go had nothing to do with his love for Katara as he previously thought. He knew for sure he wasn't the first Avatar to have loved. Nope, it had to be something else entirely. His thoughts drifted back to the monks. Their wisdom had always seemed to help him make sense of many conflicts he'd encountered.

After he had been told he was the Avatar, he had wanted nothing more than to turn back time, to pass the responsibility off to someone else. He remembered Gyatso telling him that one was not always able to control the path that life may take; that the best way to be at peace was to understand that control was an illusion.

--o—o—o—o—o--

"The seed of your destiny was sown at the very moment of your creation," Gyatso counseled. He plucked a cherry from the cherry tree and gave it to Aang. "It grows like this cherry tree, bearing the fruit it was always meant to bear. At times in your life, you may wish for the tree to produce moon peaches or sugarplums, but the nature of the tree, you cannot change. No matter what precautions you may take, or prayers you send up, your life will bear the fruit it was always meant to bear."

Gyatso patted the tree's trunk and continued through the orchard, leaving Aang staring at the cherry situated in the middle of his palm.

--o—o—o—o—o—

Aang smiled and sat up. That's what it had been all along. In all of the stress and urgency of his mission, he had forgotten all about what was most likely the most important wisdom Gyatso had given him. Aang had tried in vain to control many aspects of his life, each time being met with negative results. The corners of his mouth again turned upward as he heard familiar footsteps approaching from behind him. Katara sat down in the grass beside him.

"Hey," she greeted with a smile. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." Aang smiled and took her hand as she scooted closer until her side was flush with his.

"What are you doing over here all by yourself?" she asked nudging his shoulder with hers.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"What you asked earlier. About the Avatar State," he began. "The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't sure how to answer your question." Aang released her hand and lay back down in the grass. Katara followed suit, remaining silent.

"I figured out that the reason I couldn't access the Avatar State after Azula's attack was because I had some control issues."

Katara cast a sidelong glance in his direction. "Control issues? What are you talking about?"

"It's kind of a long story," Aang stated looking toward her as if to ask if she wanted to hear it. Of course she did.

"Okay," she consented with a shrug.

Aang sighed. "Well…when I met with Guru Pathik to master the Avatar State he explained all the chakras and the energies they are driven by. The last one, the Thought Chakra, receives cosmic energy and is blocked by earthly attachments. In order to let the cosmic energy flow freely, he told me I had to let go of my attachments…and I told him I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because my attachment to this world was you."

Katara's eyes widened in surprise and she shot upright looking down at Aang incredulously. "But—Aang, you—that was everything you had been working for! Mastery of the Avatar State was the only way to reach your ultimate goal!" Her brow furrowed. "But wait, in the Crystal Catacombs you—"

"I know," Aang interrupted. "I just don't think I completely understood what Pathik meant then. I thought letting you go meant that we couldn't be together. I tried letting go of my feelings for you because I thought that was the only way to save you in Ba Sing Se."

"Oh," Katara breathed quietly. She lay back down beside him and took his hand. "And now?"

Aang smiled slightly and wove his fingers between hers. "Now I understand that letting go means realizing that all things in this world are temporary, including our lives and everything that happens in our lifetimes; that _we_ aren't in control at all. We're just travelers along the path that destiny has laid out for us. There is no way to alter the path, or avoid going down that path.

"After I learned I was the Avatar, Gyatso told me that the seed of our destiny is sown at the moment of our creation and no matter what we might want out of life, the destiny we were meant for is inevitable."

Katara nodded, taking in what he'd said. "So what do you think happened to make you change your way of thinking?"

"You," Aang stated simply.

"Me?" Katara queried. "What did I do?"

"Well, I know I had been kind of persistent in trying to show you how I felt about you. The night we went to the play on Ember Island, I realized I had gone too far after I kissed you. I felt like I was forcing my feelings on you."

"But Aang, the reason I said what I said wasn't to hurt you. I just thought if I didn't distance myself from my feelings for you that it would hurt more if something happened to you. I know it was selfish but--"

"Katara it's okay," Aang said squeezing her hand reassuringly. "We were both selfish that night." He sighed. "Anyway, I think it was supposed to happen that way."

Katara quirked an eyebrow, "You do?"

Aang nodded. "It was my first lesson in letting go. I realized later that night that I had no control over what would happen between us or how you felt or didn't feel about me."

"Oh."

Aang sat up, folding his arms over his bent knees. "I learned another hard lesson after that." Katara sat up next to him, crossing her legs and playing with her braid.

"The next night, when I was so worried about how to defeat Ozai, was when I needed to listen to Gyatso's advice the most. I was stressing so much over what to do I was driving myself crazy." He paused to look at Katara. "I'm sorry for yelling at you that night, by the way."

Katara looped her arm through Aang's and dropped a small kiss on his lips. "It's okay, Aang. I understand what you were going through."

He smiled pensively and continued. "I meditated for hours, searching for a solution and getting nowhere. So I prayed to whatever Spirits would listen, to show me the way. I don't remember falling asleep, only waking up on the back of the Lion Turtle."

Katara grinned. "They answered your prayers."

Aang nodded. "At the time, I was more confused than ever. I didn't know where I was or how I'd gotten there. But it forced me to think outside the box I'd closed myself in and I ended up seeking out the advice of the past Avatars."

He paused as uproarious laughter erupted from the campsite. They turned to see Toph rolling on the ground holding her sides and Suki doubled over. Sokka cried "What?!" defensively.

Katara looked at Aang shrugging with a smile. "Who knows?"

Aang smiled and put his arm around Katara's waist, pulling her closer to him. She laid her head on his shoulder as he picked up where he left off.

"All of them pretty much told me the same thing in so many words."

"Which was?" Katara ventured, tracing the seam of Aang's saffron tunic with her fingertips.

"To let go…to let go of my own idea of what justice would be, my idea of what my destiny was supposed to be, to let go of my own spiritual needs, to put my duty before myself and what I wanted. When I did that, I was given the ability to bend another's energy."

Katara raised her head from his shoulder, looking at him proudly. "That took a lot of strength."

"It wasn't easy for me. I still struggled with what to do even as the battle with Ozai was going on. I had a chance to take him out by redirecting his own lightning strike at him, but when I saw the startled look in his eyes I couldn't do it. I just kept diverting his attacks until I was faced with a choice: to let go and accept what had to be done, or die."

Katara frowned and rested her head back on his shoulder, looping her arm around his waist. He raised the arm around her to her shoulders and rested his head on hers.

"It happened so fast. The earth sphere I was in crumbled and there was a bright flash of light. All of a sudden I was in the Avatar State."

"Aang, you can't give me credit for any of that. It was a spiritual journey that you went through on your own. The night you were stressing over what to do about Ozai I could have, and should have come to you…if for nothing else just to listen…and I didn't."

"No worries. Like I said before, things happened the way they did for a reason. The process was already in motion. You had already done your part," Aang said with a grin.

"By being the worst friend ever?" she retorted with a smirk.

"Katara," Aang chided, scooping her hand up between both of his and kissing the back of it. "You have helped me so much more than you realize…with everything. All of you have." He glanced behind him at his friends by the fire. "I would have never achieved what I have without all of you." When he met her eyes again, they were sparkling with adoration. "Who knows what would have happened if you'd never come to rescue me from Zuko in the South Pole?"

"I just knew in my heart that I had to," she smiled giving his hand a squeeze. "It's not like there was a choice. The seed of my destiny was sown at the moment of my creation, remember?"

Aang beamed and stood, tugging Katara to her feet. He pulled her into a tight embrace that she returned with equal fervor. "Thank you for everything, Katara."

She pulled back slightly, her eyes alight, reflecting the same adoration he was feeling for her. "I should thank you too." She took his hand as they began to walk back to the campsite. "I never imagined before we met that one person could come into my life and change it completely the way you have."

"Eh, you know. I try." Aang smirked. Katara giggled, giving him a playful nudge.

"Man you guys missed it," Toph said with a huge grin when they reached the fireside.

"Missed what?" Katara asked as they sat down.

"Sokka's a poet now," Toph said stifling a laugh. "Go on, Snoozles. Tell them the haiku about the egg."

"No," Sokka stated firmly. He scowled and continued to polish his boomerang.

"Aw, come on love," Suki cooed. "We won't laugh this time, I promise."

Toph snorted.

"An egg haiku?" Aang inquired. "I thought poetry was supposed to be...I don't know, somewhat…romantic?"

"You should know him well enough by now to know of his passionate romance with food," Katara teased.

"Okay, just for that, I'm definitely not telling you," Sokka tossed his boomerang into his green bag and lay back on his sleeping bag.

"I'll tell you." Toph sat up, placing a hand to her chest and extending her other arm palm-up in theatrical fashion. She cleared her throat and spoke in a deep, dramatic voice.

_Platypus bear egg/_

_My lunch, you should have become/_

_But you have gone splat._

She finished by lowering her head in mock disappointment as Aang and Katara failed to contain their laughter. Sokka sat up quickly and started explaining.

"I was telling them about our visit to Makapu Village and how that idiot was being attacked by a platypus bear, and how I wanted to eat the egg it laid and how it flew up in the air and landed on my head. Then, somehow, we got on the subject of how I ended up in a battle of haikus in Ba Sing Se. Toph didn't believe I could come up with a haiku off the top of my head and the first thing I thought about was the egg story. That's where it came from, so there." Sokka crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his nose in the air. Toph flicked some of her rice at him.

Katara rolled her eyes. "Some things will never change."

Aang laughed and knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

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